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The Call

I had a moment of compassion for Moses the other day.  What a confusing life this guy had!  Adopted by Pharoah's daughter, but raised by his mother for the first few years of life.  Then taken away from his mother to go live in Pharoah's household.  Meanwhile his family and friends are slaves, suffering because of the unjust treatment of his adoptive family.  He is not fully a part of either family, living on the edge of both.  Then in a moment of anger over the injustice, he tried to defend his people by killing one of the slavemasters.   The result: Both his biological and adoptive families rejected him!  He flees into the desert and ends up forming a completely new family through his new wife.  He finally belongs!  Then, years later... he stumbles upon a burning bush, and a God he doesn't even know tells him to go back to Egypt to lead his people out of Egypt against the will of the Pharoah, the most powerful military force in the world.  Riiiiiiiight...   It's easy…
Recent posts

Soul Rest

It is one of those beautiful rare moments of rest. Real soul rest, when the sin that has been eating at our hearts is revealed, confessed and healed. What peace! Oh that those moments would not be so rare but that I would become adamant about asking God to reveal my sin and give the grace of repentance and cleansing. I read in a book today that we often ask God to snap his fingers to bring healing or change, but we are unwilling to look at the root of the pain or behavior.  He knows better... A symptom that is instantly removed without true healing will inevitably return, and often even more entrenched as we choose the sin again that is strengthening it. Sometimes our suffering is God's grace to reveal the source of our pain or reactions so that we will see the pattern, the depth of the wound, the need for healing and the sin that has grown in response to the wound. Sometimes this sin is more harmful to our souls than the original wound, as we scramble to protect, defend, control …

Movement

Now and again there is a personal question that just seems impossible to answer, whether it is because the question is too emotionally charged, too complex or you just really don't know! Recently I have been asked frequently how I am doing with my recent move. As simple as that question seems, I have had the hardest time answering! Movement is complicated. Movement by its own nature is unresolved. And... I am still in movement.

The beautiful thing about movement led by God is that it is an act of trust, and trust always draws us closer to Him. Moving from California to small-town Arkansas is a challenge to say the least. There is a letting go of many beautiful and meaningful things and people. But as I am moving into this place of obedience, listening and dependence that movement necessarily brings, I am sensing a deeper, wider well of the Spirit's wisdom and pull.  There is a serenity as I gaze into that well in the midst of the movement, and there is an awareness that God i…

Falling Forward

I saw someone from my past today. Someone who, when I look at them, I see my failure. Maybe it's different for others, but for me, failure has always been a four letter word. As I look back on my life I realize that for the longest time the majority of my decisions were motivated at least in part to reduce the chances of failure or, at least, the chances that others would see it. Eventually though, my humanity caught up with me, and there came a time in my life where not only did I fail, but I was brought very very low. My failure turned into a season in which all my attempts at overcoming my weakness and sinfulness resulted in continued brokenness. God did redeem this time and brought amazing growth, grace and intimacy with him as a result. However, the reverberations of this failure continue to sound in my heart and life. The process has been beautiful and painful. I am intrigued by it.

I was listening to a book on leadership recently, and the author was addressing the topic of …

Mercy, mercy

Luke 6:27"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,28bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.29If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic.30Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.31Do to others as you would have them do to you.32"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them.33And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that.34And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full.35But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, bec…

A Little Like Flying

"Why do you say, O Jacob,
and speak, O Israel,
'My way is hidden from the Lord,
and my right is disregarded by my God'?
28 Have you not known? Have you not heard? 
TheLordis the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.... 
But those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength,
they shall mount up with wings like eagles,
they shall run and not be weary,
they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:27,28,31

I was sitting the other day marveling at why I don't need to be worried about my future. One by one I was listing all the things that God knows and sees. He knows what my retirement will be like. He knows who I will or won't marry. He knows what ministry I will be doing in two years. He knows my heart, how I feel, what I think about and care about. He knows the hearts of the people around me. He knows what my next job will be. He knows everything that will happen tomorrow. He knows whethe…

The Whisper

There's a hummingbird outside my window. It is like a whisper of God to my soul. Years ago, another hummingbird created in me a longing for its lightness and freedom, as it flitted about, wings beating 1500 times/minute, as if it were the most natural thing in the world to do. Its body is a machine of power, speed and beauty, and yet, as I watched it, it seemed as light and easy as a dandelion in the wind. That day I prayed that God would make me as joyful and light as that little bird.

Today, a word was spoken to me. A wounded bird, with a broken wing, longing to fly, work and be strong, but unable to move. "Your healing will come," the word said, "but for now, rest."

For several months now, my hummingbird has visited me almost every morning as I pray and read scripture by my ceiling to floor windows, overlooking the skyscapers of San Diego. Where on earth this hummingbird came from I could not say. But he comes, feeding on the nectars of a pine tree in betw…