I had a rough week, thinking about and feeling things I would rather leave alone. A sense of hopelessness, confusion and the desire to throw my hands in the air and crumble were gaining a much stronger foothold than I would like as well. Then something strange and good happened, and I am still trying to figure it all out. God spoke to me about his promises, though I'm still not quite sure which ones. I visited a new church Sunday morning, and the message was about waiting on God's promises. He was using the story of Simeon and Anna waiting to see the Messiah their whole lives until Christ finally came. The gist of it was that when God gives you a promise, he sometimes makes us wait, but he will always bring it to pass. He makes us wait for many reasons. To develop our character in patience, generosity and faith or because it is simply not time. His timing fits perfectly into his will and plan, which means we sometimes have to wait. I bawled like a baby in the service sensing that God was encouraging me to wait and trust because he would fulfill his promises to me, but I did not know what promises he was referring to.
That evening I went to the Brazilian church here, only my second time. The sermon this time is about Abraham, the promises God gave him, and how he had to wait to see them fulfilled. In fact, he never did see them entirely come about because they were fulfilled after he died. The pastor encouraged us to trust God, knowing that He will fulfill his promises, even if we do not see them in this lifetime. He encouraged us to remember God's eternal promises, of heaven, of the kingdom of God, of the return of Jesus. These, he said, were much more important than anything we could desire on this earth. We should set our hearts on these promises rather than anything we might desire in this life.
Hmmm... I think God is trying to tell me something... Please keep speaking, Lord. I still don't completely understand.