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Showing posts from October, 2009

Over and over again

There are some lessons that are just really hard to learn. "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer."Rom.12:12. That seems like an easy one, right? Pretty straightforward. But I find that these three basic instructions are some of the hardest for me to live, to really trust.

"Be joyful in hope." I have a love/hate relationship with hope. Hope is a source of strength and joy when it is in something that is trustworthy, but when our hope is in things that fade away or things that are not true, we are setting ourselves up for trouble. So when I think, "be joyful in hope," I think, "I am hoping! and it's bringing me incredible turmoil because I don't know if what I 'm hoping in will come true."  How can I be joyful in that? I can't. The only hope I can be joyful in is the hope of Christ's love for me and his work in my life. That brings me incredible joy, and I can scarcely believe it's true. That song …

The thing about turning 30...

When I was a wise 21 year old, I remember thinking that turning 30 would be no big deal. I was perfectly content with my singleness and couldn't understand why girls would get so bent out of shape over gettting older. Even in the past couple of years I remember thinking that 30 seemed like a great age. People finally start seeing you as an adult, you begin to have a little more wisdom, you have better ideas about what you want in life, and yet you're still young and relevant. This week has been a different story...

In a sense, I feel like I am both dying and being born. As I leave my 20's I feel like there are parts of me that are dying. Parts of selfishness, of living to see what the next adventure will be, of trying to come up with a future that would impress me, God, family and world. I am dying to the norm of being married with kids by the time I'm 30. (That one I still haven't put in the casket... it's rotting on my bedroom floor.) I am dying to being &quo…