Sunday, May 20, 2012

I thought I understood God. Cocky, I know, but I did... And I loved the god that I thought I understood. Through the past couple of years I have realized how different God is than who I thought I knew. He is much fiercer, much more beautiful, his love is much deeper and his ways so, so good, beyond my understanding. So far above my understanding...

The story of Joseph has been a recurring theme for me. "You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good." This truth gave Joseph the ability to both accept his circumstances and to forgive those who had harmed and betrayed him. How that has helped me over and over again! Yes, that person had sinful, selfish, or hurtful motivations for what they did, but at the same time God meant it for good. This gives me the ability to see life for what it is, recognize the evil and not excuse it, but at the same time see God's goodness, provision, faithfulness and plans through it all. There is real evil in the world, and people are responsible for their decisions. We do not need to call everything good. Sometimes Christians feel the need to say, "If God is good and he is sovereign, then everything that happens is good." It is not. But God is, and He has mysteriously created a purpose and intention for good to every evil decision and action of humanity.

I am so quick to judge God based on my circumstances and the suffering of the world. Somehow I have come to see God's faithfulness even in the midst of evil circumstances and know that his love IS true, and that it is impossible for a God that loves this way to have evil or careless intentions. He intends it for Good... Whatever it is, He intends it for Good. What is good? Well, that's another question entirely, and like my conception of God, my understanding of what Good is has changed as well. I will save that for next time because my banana bread is ready to come out of the oven.